Behaviour Policy

Our Approach to Behaviour

At Dulwich Wood Nursery we work hard to ensure children feel safe and secure in the environment, through consistent boundaries, predictable routines and strong relationships with familiar adults. We promote an atmosphere of respect and consideration to encourage good behaviour and respect for all. We actively encourage children to show kindness and respect to their peers and adults. We encourage children to talk about their feelings and think about how we support the feelings of others. We support children to understand their own behaviours and the behaviour of others. We view behaviour through a compassionate lense and behaviour is managed through relationships. We recognise the uniqueness of each child and the importance of flexibility according to need. 

This policy integrates what we have learnt from the worlds of attachment, trauma, neuroscience and takes into account guidance from the Early Years Foundation Stage. 

Secure relationships

Our approach to supporting behaviour is based on building strong relationships with children. Warm, caring, emotionally attuned, nurturing relationships help children feel valued and help to promote good behaviour. Every child at nursery has a key person. This is their special person, who knows them best. At nursery children seek out their key person if they are distressed or feeling strong emotions. 

Behaviour is communication

Before children develop an understanding of their feelings, and the language they need to express themselves, they show us their feelings and wishes through their behaviour. At Nursery we focus on the feelings and emotions that might drive behaviours. We recognise that for young children, behaviour is communication of an emotional need, and aim to always use our understanding of the child to work out what this is how we can support them. 

Partnership with families

 We believe in developing strong, positive relationships between staff, children and their parents/carers. It is expected that we will work closely with families to get a full understanding of home life, in order to address children’s needs effectively. We discuss children’s concerning behaviour as a team and with parents, to try to pinpoint underlying reasons and triggers.  We work with parents and carers to explore these behaviours using a trauma informed approach. 

Inclusion

Practitioners try their best to understand what is driving children’s behaviour, and this involves taking into account every child’s differing needs. Children learn about their emotions in an inclusive way, using vocabulary, symbols and pictures. We recognise that children with forms of SEN, may become dysregulated more easily for various reasons, and that it will be more difficult for them to stay within the boundaries at nursery.  We also recognise that their behaviour may appear more extreme in some cases.  We work towards ensuring that boundaries are clear and consistent for all children, and use differentiated strategies to support every child, such as the use of visuals. 

Trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

Children who have experienced, or are currently experiencing trauma in their early life, will become dysregulated more easily.  They may have difficulties forming attachments to adults, find change more difficult to cope with and be delayed in their ability to express how they feel verbally.  This means navigating nursery and school is even more challenging for these children, and behaviour can be more extreme. 

Children’s development will not always be affected in the same way by trauma or Adverse Childhood Experiences. Some children, with a secure family life, may experience a difficult or stressful time, but their behaviour may not be as severe as a child whose family life is insecure e.g. a child in care or previously in care. Staff receive training to ensure they have a good understanding of trauma and know how to identify the signs and symptoms of trauma. 

Self-regulation

Self Regulation is one’s ability to manage one’s own emotional responses and consequent behaviour and knowing how to control those big, overwhelming feelings such as anger or fear, in order to get on with the serious business of play, building relationships and learning. In short, being able to self-regulate is how we manage stress.  

Dr Mine Conkbayir, 2020

We see learning to self-regulate as a core part of learning at nursery, recognising that children learn this at different stages, depending on many factors.  Learning to self-regulate will set children up to be resilient learners and to begin to build an effective toolkit for life. Children learn how to self-regulate through repeated and consistent co-regulation. 

Co-regulation involves support from another person to help you to regulate your feelings and behaviour. It involves warm, responsive interactions which provide support, coaching and modelling to help the child understand, express and regulate their feelings, behaviour and thoughts. 

Personalised approach

Our approach is personalized and individual. We follow the principle that fairness doesn’t mean all children getting the same thing, it means all children getting what they need to be successful.  The boundaries are clear and consistent for all, but the support each child needs to stay within them will be different. 

Golden Rules

At Dulwich Wood Nursery we have 3 golden rules:

1. We stay safe – this means listening to adults, playing with toys safely, we walk inside.
2. We are kind and gentle – we use gentle hands, we use kind words, we help each other.
3. We look after our toys and resources – we tidy up and treat things with care. 

Our rules are designed to keep everyone safe, support wellbeing and provide a calm, positive environment where all children can learn. 

When children are overwhelmed by their emotions, we accept that they will not always be able to manage to stay within these boundaries.  When this happens, our approach is non-judgemental and focussed on supporting children to learn. The boundaries are always consistent, and every transgression must be addressed in an appropriate way.  Emotion Coaching is the main way we address this. 

Emotion Coaching

Emotion coaching is a relational approach to support children’s well-being and resilience. It focuses on the feelings driving the behaviour not the behaviour itself. Emotional moments are used as moments for teaching. This approach based on neuroscience and the research of John Gottman. 

Emotion Coaching recognises that most extreme behaviour nursery children exhibit, is linked to their Fight, Flight or Freeze response (a response generated in the ‘stress response’ part of the brain as a primitive survival mechanism) being activated. For instance:

• Tantrums or ‘Meltdowns’ including shouting, crying, foot stamping, defiance. 
• Hurting others and self
• Throwing or otherwise harming property in anger
• Running away, disengaging, ignoring and refusal to comply
• Being withdrawn, distracted and unable to concentrate 

Sometimes, the behaviour may appear manipulative. We recognised that most ‘manipulative’ behaviour is an attempt to control, and this impulse also comes from a stress response caused by fear. 

The child’s prefrontal cortex is functionally less mature at birth than the limbic system, so they are more easily overwhelmed by emotions and the feelings they give rise too. All of these responses are normal in young children, but some are not within the boundaries of what is acceptable at nursery. 

When a child shows dysregulated behaviour, we understand that it is a very unpleasant feeling for the child. 

• They feel scared, overwhelmed, alone and may feel that they are a bad person. 
• They may feel hot and bothered.
• They may feel physically ill, with a tummy ache or headache.

The Four Steps of Emotion Coaching

Step One: Recognising the child’s feelings and empathising with them

Connection is our first response to big emotions. We put ourselves in the child’s shoes at that moment. We look for physical and non-verbal signs of the emotion being felt and communicate patience, empathy, curiosity, acceptance and compassion.  We give feedback about what we can see going on in their body to help develop their own self-awareness so that one day they can tune into their own body cues. Recognising the child’s feelings and empathizing with the child will soothe the ‘Emotional Brain’. This step may also involve an action such as simply cuddling a child to help them to calm. 

At Dulwich Wood Nursery we connect first:

• Ensure Key Person (if possible) or other adult who the child is familiar with is close to child and stays with then whilst they are upset.
• Get on the same level as the child (making your body smaller and less threatening)
• Show we understand their feelings through what we say (e.g. I see you are very sad right now) or through facial expressions 
• Use our voice as a calming tool, using a soothing tone and repetition e.g. ‘I’m here, I’m here…’ or ‘I know this is hard.’
• Ask if they need a cuddle.
• Help them to breath, count or use a similar strategy to help activate their ‘Thinking Brain.’

Step Two: Validating and labelling with the emotion the child is feeling in the moment

Next, we validate and affirm the child’s experience and emotions by naming the emotion they are feeling. This communicates that we understand how they feel and it also helps the child to feel and learn that all feelings are normal, natural and okay. Naming emotions is a powerful way to develop emotional literacy. By naming the emotion the other person is feeling and validating their feelings, we are encouraging the regulatory processes to engage and reconnecting the ‘Thinking Brain’ with the ‘Emotional Brain’. 

At Dulwich Wood we communicate kind curiosity and understanding:

• Try to name the emotion, using ‘I wonder if you are feeling angry?’ or ‘Maybe’, using pictures to help if possible, drawing attention to how the child looks/acts e.g. ‘I wonder if you are feeling angry, you are stamping and your face is red, that often means you are feeling angry.’ 
• Try to validate e.g. ‘It’s OK to feel angry when you have to do something you don’t like, I understand it’s hard.’

‘I would feel angry if that happened to me. It’s normal to feel like that.’ 

• Repeat if necessary, repetition may be needed for children to process.
• Stay with the child, ask the child if they would like a hug, hold hands or sit in close proximity so that they feel you are with them, keeping them safe through their feelings.

These first two steps calm and soothes the body so children are more receptive to nursery rules and problem solving.

Step Three: Set the limits

Step Three is where you put some limits on the behaviours, if necessary. It should only happen when a child has found an element of emotional calm. When the child is calm, they can respond using rational thinking and cooperation.  A positive and empathic way of doing this is to simply state what is the acceptable behaviour using positive language. 

At Dulwich Wood we:

• Remind the child that they must stay within the boundaries. “Remember we all agreed that at Nursery we use kind hands.”
• Reiterate that it is the way of expressing the feeling that needs to change, the feelings are still valid. 

e.g. “It’s OK to feel angry, it’s OK to cry if we need too, or even stamp your foot.  But we must be gentle with others in nursery, so we need to use words rather than our hands.”

Step Four: Problem Solving

In step four, we work with the child to consider what they could do when they feel those strong emotions again. The child must be in a calm state so they are better able to make sense of what they feel, how they and others respond and to problem solve. Together we consider what happened and why. This enhances the child’s ability to reflect on their own behaviour, it’s impact on others, develop their perspective taking skills and contribute to their ability to repair and restore relationships. Wherever possible, new solutions should be driven by the child or young person, but there are times when some ideas will need to be given. 

At Dulwich Wood we:

• Make sure the child has had enough time to be calm and process what we have said.
• Ask the children if they have any ideas for next time they feel angry / sad / scared.

Or

• Give the child an idea of what might help next time, using pictures if possible e.g. “Next time you feel angry, it might help you to stamp your foot / move to a quiet place to calm down / run around the garden / come and find me and I will help you calm down.

Acute / Persistent Inappropriate Behaviour

Types of behaviour that are deemed inappropriate are as follows:

• Physical assault on another child or member of staff, kicking, biting hair pulling, scratching. 
• Verbal abuse, swearing, racist comments, derogatory comments or actions. 
• Deliberate and wilful damage to school property

When this behaviour is displayed the child should be removed from the situation, and will the adult will follow the steps laid out above.  

If this negative behaviour happens repeatedly, the Key Person will meet with the Nursery Leader and SENCO to work in partnership with the parents to support the child. Together they will seek to understand the triggers and causes of behaviour, and use CPOMS to identify patterns. We will discuss strategies and put in place support for the children.  

If the situation continues to occur, and with parental consent, outside agencies may be contacted to offer constructive, confidential advice.

Exclusions

If the child is very overwhelmed and is unable to regulate, where they are putting themselves or others in danger, staff will bring the child to the SLT, and if appropriate, the parents will be called to come and collect. Exclusions are used as a last resort or where behaviour has become so difficult that the health and safety of the child and others is in jeopardy.

Incident logs

When a child has displayed any of the above behaviours practitioners will log on CPOMS. A member of SLT will then be alerted to the incident. Incident reporting adopt positive observational record keeping or ‘ABC’. This helps to understand the causes of behaviour which may present as challenging, by recording what happened before, during and after the behaviour. It helps teachers, parents and carers to track the behaviours of children and pupils. 

The format follows: 

A: Antecedent: Gives context to the incident, what happened before the incident took place 

B: Behaviour: Gives the details of what happened

C: Consequence/conclusion: Gives information about what happened after the incident, and how the children are supported.

Reporting Incidents to parents and carers

When a child hurts another child or adult, CPOMS form will be completed, and SLT will be notified. The parents of both parties will be called, or for more minor incidents the Key person will speak to the parents at pick up time. 

Positive Handling

If child’s behaviour is causing injury to themselves or other children, Teachers will follow the procedures set out in the Positive Handling Policy. 

November 2024